Urlav reviews Strange

Or more of like Urlav ruins Strange. Yep, that is happening because why not?  I haven’t written a thing in while so let me just dive straight in and spoil the shit out of this beautiful movie (literally beautiful mosaics).

Dear Beneduck Cumbersmack, there was some great kicking ass and awesome facial hair, but bro we have already had a guy for that since like the beginning of it.So just like some 8 years ago we got to see an arrogant and self-obsessed multimillionaire who accidentally got into wrong place at wrong time only to make million dollar suits for rest of his life, here we are the same personality with a little more height who accidentally trips down a hill only to fuck things up with magic for the rest of his life (quite low on budget there Marvel!). As soon as Mr. Stephen Strange is introduced you can tell he is a big douche to the community of doctors! Guy literally bets on people’s lives for songs. Come in Rachel McAdams because we were re-recruiting the cast of Sherlock. We get to see how steady he can be later to justify the accident and self-caused Parkinson’s that would make him go to some Asian country. Our hero is like, let me spend the last of my money to go to place where I totally doubt to get cured. So he goes, and he chants Kamar-Taj so that someone from the secret society hears him. Alas! Someone does, but that guy is a douche too! Waits for our hero to get into some dark alley, get beaten and give us a more dramatic entrance, save the poor, soul take him to his place.

Come in the Ancient One, look I know that fans already knew who she would be but the first timers, if you are hoping for some old Chinese Kung-fu master who would refuse to teach Strange anything due to his arrogance, I say don’t. Instead we get to see a British actress who offers you tea and happily reveals all the secrets and magic stuff because Strange cannot be a threat? That’s Marvel for you! Anyways she does refuse to teach him because of umm let’s just say because he didn’t shave. But once you take PCP and see the cool stuff who wants go back opening up hearts and cutting stomachs and cranium? Right, but how do you get in back in the school of mystical arts? (Try Hogwarts) Well Mordo won’t lose a potential student to Hogwarts so he call him back in. Strange uses a lot of books, but the secret to his success was the book called “Learn to use magic in about 15 mins and be a pro.” Life was beautiful now, only a few days to complete training and sudden entry of villain cliché! Boom!

The next 15 mins are: Close encounter with the villain cliché, why is he doing so cliché, what is his vision cliché, gives a brief intro to the main antagonist cliché (wait there’s another), Doctor somehow gets things in control cliché, villain somehow escapes cliché. I just forgot to mention the cutest thing between all of this, hands down after Groot, the Cloak of Levitation is the cutest thing in the MCU except that it is not alive but it is cute to have a magical sidekick (more utility than Mordo). Strange and Mordo and the Ancient One fights the Zealots and Kaecillius where we see the “Guru” dies cliché. Now Kaecillius takes over the world city by city and calls in Dormammu. Meet the long lost brother of Galactus, who is humongous in size and engulfs planets (but magically).
Mr. Dr. Strange does some strange things, uses the infinity stone aka eye of “blah blah” traps the planet eating monster in a time loop, Dormammu is like “what the fuck bro! You got me for a minute there” Strange is like “Let’s make a deal bro.” Strange is polite to his villains (because British?)

Strange saves the world.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s